im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
