I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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