You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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