Betty ford says i'm here all night
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
