i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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