I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
