Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
