go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
