Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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