420 ftw
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
