You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I need to stop coming to work sober
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She bit a glass in half.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
