Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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