Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
