Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
