I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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