You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Drake has all the answers
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
