She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Green mimosas i think yes
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
