I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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