Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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