I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
