stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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