after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
