I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
