everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
