We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
