This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
