Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
