Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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