Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
i think i just lost a toe
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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