Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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