I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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