Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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