omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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