shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
