Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
