Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
