He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
