porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
