I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
