he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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