May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
