I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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