after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
