Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
