Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Houston, we have a blender
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
