fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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