i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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