There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
