I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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