You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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