there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
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