i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
