her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
