I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
